article 24: Premarital and Couples Counseling: What Place Does Sexuality Hold in Your Relationship?

Premarital and Couples Counseling: What Place Does Sexuality Hold in Your Relationship?By Marya Sirous

Introductory Quote

“Sexuality, more than just an act, is a language. One of the body, the heart, and the soul.”

— Esther Perel

Introduction

In a relationship, sexuality often defines what makes a bond truly intimate. It is the bridge from emotional to physical connection, from companionship to fusion, from the ordinary to the exceptional.

But what do we really know about it?

Do we know our own bodies?

Do we understand what triggers our desire?

What excites us? What distances us from pleasure?

And most importantly, do we know how to express all of this to our partner?

The Silence Around Sexuality

In many families, sexuality remains a taboo. We learn to talk about what we enjoy in food or music, but when it comes to sexual pleasure, the words are missing, and discomfort settles in.

We can passionately describe a creamy dish or a bold wine, but stay silent about what touches us, moves us, or makes us feel alive.

Yet, sexuality is a vital language within a couple. Its absence, discomfort, or taboo can deeply hinder shared fulfillment.

👉 Premarital and couples counseling helps you put words to your desire:https://www.e-coach.fr/book-online

The Responsibility to Know Oneself (and to Be Known)

A fulfilling sexual relationship rests on two clear responsibilities:

• Knowing your own body: what attracts, excites, disturbs, comforts, frees, or blocks you.

• Sharing that knowledge with your partner: not as a demand, but as a generous act of communication.

And in return, being attentive to your partner’s body, signals, desires, and vulnerabilities.

A sexual couple is, above all, a space of exploration and trust.

👉 Counseling can guide you through this intimate journey:https://www.e-coach.fr/book-online

Sexuality: An Initiatory Journey

Experiencing deep sexuality is like embarking on a journey:

• You learn about yourself

• You discover unexpected inner landscapes

• You overcome fears

• You grow more open, tolerant, and curious

Some spiritual traditions (like tantra or Taoist sexuality) consider sexuality a path to consciousness—a connection to oneself, to the other, and to the divine.

Pleasure can trigger healing—physical, emotional, even existential.And in modern life, it remains a way to:

• Relieve stress

• Boost confidence

• Restore deep physical connection within the couple

👉 Book a session to explore the erotic and symbolic dimension of your relationship:https://www.e-coach.fr/book-online

Psychological Insight: Sex and the Construction of the Couple

Clinical sexology research (Kaplan, Masters & Johnson, Esther Perel) shows:

• Lack or dissatisfaction in sexuality is a top cause of breakup

• Many unresolved conflicts manifest in the bedroom

• Sexual communication reflects overall relational communication

Sexuality isn’t just a “bonus” — it’s a pillar of couplehood.It can’t solve everything, but without it, the couple loses a vital dimension.

👉 Counseling helps couples reconnect with living intimacy:https://www.e-coach.fr/book-online

Practical Exercises to Try

• Write down what brings you pleasure sexually (and what blocks it)

• After intimacy, talk about what you need: silence? closeness? distance? words?

• Explore new ways of touching — without a goal, just for sensation

• Distinguish fantasies from real needs: what’s shareable? what’s personal?

• Find gentle ways to express desire — with words, looks, writing, gestures

👉 Enrich your couple’s sexual life with the support of counseling:https://www.e-coach.fr/book-online

Inspiring Conclusion

Sexuality is not a marital duty — it’s an invitation to meet.Two bodies, two stories, two imaginations coming together.

It’s a sacred space where pleasure, trust, vulnerability, and power all meet.

What if we learned to talk about sex with the same joy and freedom as we talk about food or music?

To Reflect On

“Desire is a spark. Pleasure, an art. Intimacy, a path.”

— Anonymous