Introduction to the Series: Understanding Our Inner Schemas

Marya Sirous
4 days ago
3 min read

This series is intended for anyone who wishes to better understand their emotional and relational reactions.There is no need to have studied psychology manuals: each article will guide you step by step, using concrete examples, clear language, and practical tools you can apply in your daily life.

Introduction to the Series: Understanding Our Inner Schemas

From early childhood, every human being develops a unique way of perceiving the world, others, and themselves. These deep perceptions—both emotional and cognitive—form what psychologist Jeffrey Young calls Early Maladaptive Schemas.

These schemas are enduring mental and emotional structures, formed at the intersection of our emotional temperament—the sensitivity we are born with—and the responses of our emotional environment: parents, caregivers, educators, and significant others.

When one or more of our basic emotional needs (love, safety, autonomy, expression, recognition, healthy limits) are not sufficiently met, we unconsciously develop beliefs such as:

“I am not lovable.”
“I must be perfect to be accepted.”
“Others will always leave me.”

These schemas become inner lenses through which we interpret everything that happens to us.

When activated, they trigger what Jeffrey Young calls schema modes—automatic emotional and behavioral states such as:

the vulnerable child,
the critical parent,
the detached protector,
or the healthy adult.

Learning to recognize these modes is the first step toward regaining power over our reactions, emotions, and choices.

A Human Perspective on Healing

Schema therapy does not aim solely to reduce suffering; it seeks structural healing.

Through the therapeutic relationship, it offers a corrective emotional experience—a space where unmet needs can finally be heard, understood, and met in a healthy way.

The goal is not to erase our wounds, but to re-educate our inner parts—with firmness, compassion, and patience.

Our schemas are not flaws; they are emotional survival strategies that are no longer useful.

Recognizing them is an act of self-compassion.Transforming them is an act of responsibility.

The Five Schema Domains

Jeffrey Young identified 18 fundamental schemas, organized into five domains. These domains reflect core childhood wounds and the adaptive strategies we developed in response.

Domain 1: Disconnection and Rejection

Deep wounds related to a lack of love, stability, or unconditional acceptance.

Abandonment / Instability – “Others will eventually leave me.”
Mistrust / Abuse – “I will be hurt, used, or humiliated if I trust others.”
Emotional Deprivation – “No one will truly be there for me.”
Social Isolation / Alienation – “I am different; I don’t belong.”
Defectiveness / Shame – “If people really know me, they will reject me.”

Domain 2: Impaired Autonomy and Performance

Difficulties feeling capable, independent, or safe in the world.

Dependence / Incompetence – “I cannot manage on my own.”
Vulnerability to Harm or Illness – “Something terrible is going to happen.”
Enmeshment / Undeveloped Self – “I must stay close to others to exist.”
Failure – “I am destined to fail.”

Domain 3: Impaired Limits

Difficulties with self-control or respecting boundaries.

Entitlement / Grandiosity – “I am special; rules do not apply to me.”
Insufficient Self-Control / Self-Discipline – “I cannot restrain myself.”

Domain 4: Other-Directedness

An excessive focus on others’ needs or approval, at the expense of one’s own.

Subjugation – “I must submit to avoid losing others.”
Self-Sacrifice – “I must always put others first.”
Approval-Seeking / Recognition-Seeking – “If I am not admired, I am worthless.”

Domain 5: Overvigilance and Inhibition

A life governed by fear, rigid standards, or emotional suppression.

Negativity / Pessimism – “Something bad will always happen.”
Emotional Inhibition – “I must not show my emotions.”
Unrelenting Standards / Hypercriticalness – “I must be perfect to deserve love.”
Punitiveness – “Mistakes deserve punishment, not forgiveness.”

An Invitation to Transformation

Through this series, I wish to share my clinical perspective and experience, linking the rigor of this model with the living, human dimension of the therapeutic relationship.

Each article is an invitation to observe, understand, and transform these schemas—not as flaws, but as old stories that can be rewritten.

By learning to listen to our wounded parts, soothe our inner parents, and strengthen our healthy adult, we can finally reconcile reason and heart—and live with greater freedom, awareness, and inner peace.

If you recognize yourself in this schema and wish to free yourself from it, I invite you to book a personalized session at:www.e-coach.fr/book-online